Life is such a roller coaster...

So my life has been an emotional roller coaster lately! Just when things are looking up something happens and I feel like I am right back to where I was when I first moved to Jacksonville! Ugh I am so mad at myself for being like this. I mean why can I just not make myself be happy?! I think the major problem is that up until now someone else has always been taking care of me, and to be honest I really did not have much to worry about other than school. Now I am trying to make it on my own and go to school, and find a job... ugh growing up sux!!

Life in Jax!

Soo I have not updated this thing in two weeks, shame on me! I have not been busy but my internet connection here is terrible!! So I am all moved in and settled at Jonnelle's. Living with her has been so much fun, even though I know most of you would not believe that. We get along really well, and she even has me hooked on General Hospital again haha. Now I just need to find a job so I can pay rent and stop feeling like such a slacker! I applied at Lowe's today, thats how desperate I am for money.

On a happier note, I did find a job babysitting today! Its only a few days a week at night, and it only pays 7 dollars an hour. BUT since its at night, the little boy only needs a story and then he goes to bed. So can do homework and be online and watch TV (even sleep according to the Mom lol). So basically I will be getting paid to do nothing. So it will be good extra money... but nowhere close to what I need! But its a starts and once I find a job babysitting money will be going out money!

Class at FCCJ is joke! The people in my class are not the brightest crayons lol. Class was cancelled all this week due to our teacher being in the hospital, so my 8 week class is officially a 7 week class, awesome! We had our first test, and I was kinda upset that I only got an 82, but apparently it was one of the highest grades in the class so thats a good thing, and it got bumped to a 90!

I finally heard back from the grad school in Tampa (the one I am dyinggg to go to!!) and I have an interview there on Sept. 30th! I am soo nervous and I have NO idea what to wear! I have to be there at 9am, so I will be getting almost no sleep the night before, being as it is a 3 hour drive over there! I am praying that everything goes well! I will keep you all posted on that event, as if I get in the WHOLE world will know! I kinda want to wait a year to go to school in Jax, but that would be a little silly to put school off for 6 months just to stay in Jax. I think its time for a new city anyways.

As far as the personal life goes, not much is new. I am going out tomorrow for the first time since I have been in Jax... so this ought to be interesting. But I am going to the beach bars and its not going to be the same without Daryle! I am having fun being single, getting to know a lot about myself. But at the same time I am so lonely... I think that its funny that you don't appreciate what you have till you don't have it anymore. I went to Bid Day with the girls last weekend and I am SOOO extremely proud of them. They got 14 amazing girls through formal recruitment and already have three more COB bids signed, so they are 3 away from total! And its not like they went on a numbers search, all of the girls are wonderful! I am so excited to see what the rest of this semester brings for the girls! I have not been to JU that much because I feel like I need to be building a life for myself away from JU, but its hard being in Jax and not being a JU student. I LOVE not living on campus though, Jax is not so terrible when you re not living in the middle of the ghetto haha.

Other than that I am not sure what else is new... I am just so sick of being broke and of having nothing to do but sit in the apt all day bc I have no money to do nothing else! I am going to the beach bars with nooo money, so I will end up being a DD, but I guess given the company maybe that is not such a bad thing haha. Well I guess that is all for now! I love you guys and miss you so much!!

To Hell with Jacksonville

Ugh I am so annoyed right now. I have no idea what is wrong with me but I have been on an emotional roller coaster the past few days! I was so excited to move to Jax and then I was freaking out, and now I am here and so depressed! Jax is not my home anymore! I mean my sisters are here and what not but still, I want to just pack up and go home... to hell with grad school! Ok well not really but it feels better to say that! I really don't know what is wrong with me!! Ugh and I am broke on top of everything else which is annoying. I have no job which is a huge problem... one that I need to fix! Classes start tomorrow and I am so broke I do not even have paper to take notes!! Wtf?!

I am such a mess!! I really need to get my life on track but its hard to get on track when I have no idea why I am off track in the first place!! I am just so annoyed with the whole situation. On the plus side I got to go to Missionway this morning so I feel better about church! I could not stand my parents church when I was home! But I know I am still going to miss it too haha. I think I just need to move to a new town, one where no one knows me and just start all over...

First Blog!

Daryle made me make this... I just want to throw that out there to start with. I know nothing about blogs, and I really don't think my life is that interesting... well at least the parts I am going to post on here! Anyways! I cannot believe I am moving to Jax tomorrow... its still insane to me. I am really nervous about moving back and not being a student at JU, its going to be different thats for sure. I am living with Jonnelle over by the towncenter and taking one class at FCCJ. I am so annoyed with my JU advisor. But then again part of me feels like I am suppose to be in Jax. What are the odds that the only "state college" on the east coast offering the class in 8 week sections is in Jacksonville. And that Jonnelle's brother would move out leaving a room empty in her apartment?! I mean everything worked out so perfectly I feel like its where I am suppose to be in life. And I am so excited to be a part of Missionway again! I have missed that church so much! Umm I think thats all for now. More tomorrow when I make it to Jax!!